Fall break is fast approaching, and I’ve heard many murmurings of possible plans for the extended weekend, predominantly trips out of town to visit sorely missed friends. I’ll hopefully be making such a trip, but not without digging myself into a hole, further and further buried by homework, and looming paper deadlines. So it is at this moment that I implore all of you wonderful, deeply kind, and compassionate professors, to consider in this month of October abstaining from dishing out homework. Cancel all paper deadlines,  and give us stickers instead of grades. Be the change you want to see in the world, professors.

 

1 Cheer: Coffee

I’ve made it a point in my life not to drink coffee, for no other reason than the fact that I have an addictive personality and I know I’d be instantly hooked. But last week I showed up for work at 6:45 a.m. on about one hour of sleep and knew almost immediately that there was no way I was making it until noon. So I had my first ever cup of coffee. Let’s just say I like. I like it a lot.

 

2 Cheers: $70,000 Donation

Thirteen-year-old Erin Byrnes won a $70,000 SUV from a charity raffle for Joseph’s House here in Syracuse and immediately donated the car back to the organization. “We never dreamed in a million years that Erin would win,” said Erin’s mother, Jeanie Byrnes. I’m sure you didn’t, Jeanie. I’m sure you didn’t.

 

3 Cheers: Reflection Papers

Reflection papers are not free A’s, despite popular opinion. Yes, it’s true that a professor can’t technically deduct points for having your own opinion, and it’s true that these papers are far easier [for me at least] to write than any research paper, but these papers offer you a chance as a student to really personalize your education and to let your professor know how you’ve internalized material. Don’t be the student that ruins reflection papers for a professor by saying you “…Really liked the lecture ‘cause it was cool.”

 

1 Jeer: 24 Hour Days

Remember back in week three when I said I was somehow six weeks behind? We’re at the point where I’m behind on the things I’m behind on. I NEED MORE TIME. Apparently, scientists claim that there’s only 24 hours in a day. Similar to how someone randomly decided what words would be considered swear words, can’t scientists just add, say, three more hours to the day?

 

2 Jeers: Textbook “Typo”

Textbook publisher McGraw-Hill apologized after it was pointed out to them that in one of their textbooks for a high school program they referred to slaves as being “workers.” Definitely a no-no with the countless PhD’s who reviewed the textbook prior to publishing, but most concerning is that the 9th grader who caught this mistake was actually reading the textbook….

 

3 Jeers: Timed Canvas Quizzes

I get that we need to be tested and quizzed and rated in our classes so we can acquire a GPA or something like that to be used in the “real world” to “get a job.” But Canvas quizzes, especially timed Canvas quizzes, will be the death of me. Isn’t it enough that we have to know the material for class time? Now you’re making us remember the material at lightning speed? Professors, are you not entertained?