One Year Down

One Year Down

Well, the school year is just about over. Studying for finals is in full swing and the boxes are starting to come out, ready to pack up the clothes, the books, and the memories.

I had a moment of realization recently, in between cramming sessions, that I’m done with my first year of college. Something that was once so far away and mysterious is already starting to disappear into the past.

When I was little, I thought I would have it all figured out by now. I thought by the time I was in the glamourous, grown up world of college, I wouldn’t be struggling anymore. I wouldn’t be scared, confused, insecure, or awkward anymore. But I am. And the beautiful thing I’ve learned is that everyone else is too.

It’s been disenchanting to realize that no one knows exactly what they’re doing. If I’m making it up as I go along and so is the rest of the world, then who’s flying the plane? But it’s also been extremely comforting to know that we’re all taking risks, making mistakes, and holding on for dear life together.

I still have plenty of time to enjoy college and get a plan, but this crazy, whirlwind of a year has shown me how quickly time can pass. I’m so in love with this place and thinking about leaving someday is terrifying. I don’t like change, I don’t like losing people.

However, if this year has taught me anything, it’s that everything will be okay in the end. Seasons change and so do people. I’m not the same girl I was a year ago and that’s okay. I’ll keep growing up, I’ll keep facing problems, and things will keep getting better.

My own graduation is years away, but I have amazing friends who will be heading off into the real world now. Am I more afraid to follow them out the door or face a school year without them? I’m not entirely sure, but I know it’s a lesson I’ll have to learn over and over again.

I’ll have to learn how to accept failure, how to ace an interview, how to be okay with the person I am.

Well, anyway. One year down, three more to go.