The Single Life

Rachel Chea

More stories from Rachel Chea

Connecting to the world
November 10, 2016

When we were kids, boys were disgusting and girls were notorious for having cooties. Then we grew up, perspectives started to shift, and relationships became a source of intrigue. As we’ve gotten older, that innocent curiosity has transformed into the desire and social pressure to find a romantic partner. And that pressure comes from everywhere.

I’ve learned a lot from being single for most of my life and although it’s tough to relish in being single when surrounded by couples, I’ve learned having a significant other isn’t everything. To all you singletons desperately and relentlessly seeking a partner or fearing being single after a string of relationships, never rule out the benefits of being alone, because it’s actually pretty great sometimes. Here are some perks to being single and why you should embrace it:

1) Independence

Think about it, you can do what you want, when you want. Being single is about being independent. This is the time to find your happiness, on your own, without looking to someone else for it.


2) “Me Time”

Although being single can be boring, unsatisfying and lonely at times, it gives you plenty of opportunities to spend time with yourself and focus on your whole person. This “soul-searching” period of your life can help you evaluate what you really want, for yourself and in a future partner.

You’re not going to be single forever (hopefully, maybe, unless that’s what you want), so take the time you have to really appreciate being alone and work on the person you want to be before adding someone into the equation. But mind you, being with yourself doesn’t just involve sitting around watching TV… You can go to the gym to improve your mind, body and soul, or even go to dinner alone. It may seem/feel awkward at first, but it’s actually kind of relaxing.


3) Building strong friendships

Not having someone to “tie you down” also gives  you more time to spend with the people that mean the most to you. Surrounding yourself with a good group of friends is the best thing to do when you’re single. Your friends don’t necessarily have to be single themselves, but if they are, it’s an added bonus. Either way, spending time with friends is a nice way to help take your mind off needing or wanting a significant other.


4) Focusing on the important things

One of the great things about being single is you don’t have to factor a partner into your decisions, which can oftentimes complicate your future goals and aspirations. It’s okay to be “selfish” and follow your dreams without hesitations. Use this time to decide what’s important to you and what you need to do in order to get where you want, because once you factor someone else into the equation, what you think is important gets lost in the mix.


5) Stepping outside the box

Try new things, become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Step out of your comfort zone; you may fall in love with it, you may not, but this is a great experimental phase in your life where you’re completely free to explore. This is the time to meet new people, travel, and absorb as you can––when you’re unattached. And who knows, maybe your adventures will make you even more appealing to a potential partner.

Whether you’re in a funk over being perpetually single or singleness is scaring you into staying in a relationship, don’t fear being alone, embrace it!