You can’t always get what you want.

Most of us have heard this many times throughout our lives. And it’s true, in life, you can’t always get what you want, or even what you think you deserve. It’s unfortunate, and if you’re anything like me, it takes you a while to figure out why things are this way. The hard, sad truth is, not everything in life is fair.

These same things were said to me countless times when I was younger, but the words have never been so true than when you’re in college. I never fully experienced so much defeat and disappointment until I came to college, and right now as I find myself on the brink of post-grad life.

As I’m sure most of you can attest to, life is a never ending cycle of success and disappointment. While this sounds depressing, it’s the truth. What you do with both the success and disappointment, however, is what truly matters.

Let’s face it, when you don’t get something you want—not in a spoiled rotten or childish way—it’s not the best feeling in the world. Whether this happens in the smallest of instances, during an extracurricular activity, in the classroom, while searching for a job or even in the real world, it takes time to get over it.

However, don’t dwell on it too much, or else the time that you spend being angry and annoyed, harping over why it happened the way it did and how it happened, can be better spent enjoying life, looking at what you do have and appreciating it. Most importantly, don’t give up. If you really want something, persevere and believe you can do it.

This brings me to my next point, when these disappointing, unfair or unjustified things happen (which they inevitably will), the key to moving past them is looking on the bright side and staying positive. Some of you may be thinking “easier said than done,” however, it truly helps the healing process.

Yes, you can be mad and upset right after it happens, you have the right to be. However, after maybe a day, try to think of the positive or “bright” aspects of this downfall and most importantly, count your blessings. Think of the things you do have, rather than the things you could’ve had, but don’t.

Like I said before, it will take time to get over these things. If you need to, you should take your aggression out on a pillow or even scream into a pillow to let that negative energy out. Just know that throughout life, you can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might find that you get exactly what you need.