Fight or Flight?

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Fight or Flight?

The phone calls are becoming rare. The text messages are becoming far and few between. You find that you’re checking their Facebook profile, just to see if you’re still even friends. These are just a few signs that determine if your relationship is on life support. Now there are many signs that your romance needs CPR, but there is one telling sign. You just know. You have a gut feeling. You can feel that it is coming to a close. Only you can tell that your partner has changed. Only you can determine the distance between your first hello to your last text message. Only you can determine if they are drifting away from you. Now here is the question: What do you do?

The choices are as follows:

You could talk to your partner. Ask them why they are distant. Tell them how you feel. Say that you feel as if you’re out of sync; maybe there is a good reason. Talking to them could help, but it could also not help. You really just never know until you try. Talking could make things better, but it could also lead you down a road with an end that’s dead. Be prepared for there to not be a real answer. Be ready for just a simple sorry, and then a quick goodnight kiss goodbye at the end of the night, and never solving the problem.

You just break up. You feel like there is nothing else you can do. Maybe you did the talking thing without a real outcome. Maybe you just don’t want to have that talk. Maybe you have had so many talks there is nothing really left to say. Maybe all words have lost meaning, or never had meaning. There is nothing wrong with reaching this point. As long as you are ready for the outcome of this choice, then you need to do what is best for you. Letting go is hard, but making someone hold on is harder.

You stay and keep quiet and hang on for dear life. Let’s be honest though, holding you both in place is just the fear of accepting what is no longer. The downside of hanging on with white knuckles is the more you push yourself on them, the more distant they can become. It can be looked at as a no win situation. You stay, and you text, and call them over and over, because they are slipping, but at the same time you pushing them to stay is just pushing them away. Plus, you should never hang on to someone that doesn’t want to hang on to you. Love should never be a one-way street. Holding on sounds good now, because you get to keep your loved one, but really if they faded away it doesn’t really seem like you have them to begin with.

There are many choices to have. You have to do what is best for you and your feelings. Listen to the advice of your head, not your heart. Love is blinding, but never forget to do what you need to do.