The Old Codger’s Corner: The Toilet Stall Muse

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By Ken D'Angelo '71, Staff Writer

I was going crazy trying to come up with a topic for this column that was both contemporary and interesting to me. Inspiration can be in the damnedest places. I found mine in a bathroom stall. If you have an aversion to discussions of human bowel functions and human sexuality, stop right now. You’ve been warned. About 15 minutes before I had to be at a class I had to acknowledge a call of nature. I found the nearest men’s room, found a stall and parked myself on the porcelain throne. Taped on the door I saw what I can only describe as an ignorant rant. It read as follows:

“Think about it…Abortion is considered immoral; however, life determining decisions are made concerning nuclear power and chemical use that can affect the well-being of fetuses. Why is it that society expresses no significant opposition to these threats?”

Naturally it was, as are most inane postings, unsigned. Reading that nonsense ruined a perfectly good bowel movement as effectively as if I had eaten a brick of Swiss cheese. It said nuclear power can affect the wellbeing of unborn humans. France has, at last count  the most nuclear power plants. I have not heard or read of any more than a normally expected number of spontaneous abortions [AKA miscarriages] there. Closer to home I have the same lack of data regarding spontaneous abortions in Oswego county as the result of the nuclear power plants also there. The technical term for this toilet thesis is “baloney.” The author also says that chemicals can affect the well being of an unborn human. Well, I can’t argue with that. It is the only correct phrase in the statement. It is true that a healthy pregnancy precludes the use of tobacco, alcohol and other fetal toxins. The part where the writer goes off the rails is saying there is no significant opposition to nuclear power and chemicals. There have been no nuclear power plants built in the last three decades in the U.S.A because there are a herd of idiots just waiting to dust off their signs exclaiming “No Nukes!!!” Concerning toxic chemicals, last fall there was definitely “significant opposition.” This included a busload of Le Moyne students to  New York City for, if I recall correctly. “Earth Day” demonstrations against all the stuff  poisoning the planet. Lastly I have a sneaking suspicion that the true motive of the author is to imply that since society ostensibly accepts nukes and chemicals then abortion is also acceptable.

Let me be unequivocal. Except for cases of rape, incest or severe medical necessity abortion is wrong, immoral and barbarous. If the result of an adult, mutually consensual sexual coupling results in pregnancy it is the equal  responsibility of both the male and female participants. Adults are responsible for their actions. Ladies, you have at your disposal a large selection of methods to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Gentlemen, remember that latex is your best friend. Of course the best anti pregnancy method is don’t copulate. Suck, lick, fondle, vibrate, nibble and/or caress, but don’t copulate. If, inspite of all precautions, a pregnancy occurs then the two of you are now responsible for a human life.

The recently posted “Pheminist Manifesto” states that a woman has the right to dictate what happens to her body. I agree. However if this is a veiled acceptance of abortion on demand then it involves the body of an unborn human. It has no place on a Catholic campus as a policy of an organization receiving college funds. These “Pheminists” have every right to believe what they will. My beliefs are admittedly also at odds with Catholic doctrine, but I have not asked for money to push my beliefs. A copy of this Manifesto is in the vestibule of the library and endorsed by several other campus organizations that receive campus funds. If it turns out that they are also supporting the “Pheminists” in what looks to be an acceptance of abortion on demand, or my views concerning limited abortion, their funding should also be suspended.