NOT NEWSWORTHY NEWS: Health-conscious man seriously considers giving up fast food


Syracuse, NY— After years of self-loathing and regret, Kenny Robbins has started contemplating the health benefits of no longer eating fast food. On average, Robbins would eat fast food at least four times a week; his favorite restaurants being McDonald’s and Taco Bell.

“The other day I saw the amount of calories that are in a Big Mac and it almost drove me to stop eating my second,” said Robbins. “I figured I deserve it, though,  because I go to the gym.”

Our sources report that Robbins hasn’t been to the gym in over three years. Friends and family are growing more and more concerned as each day passes. “Sometimes I find chicken nuggets in his pockets when I’m doing his laundry,” said Robbins’ mother, Susan Robbins.

“One time I took one of his french fries and he didn’t talk to me for a week,” said Robbins’ best friend Thomas Thorn.

Robbins has become increasingly turned off by fast food after seeing a video titled, “What are chicken nuggets made off?”

“The more I think about it, the more it makes sense that I should stop,” said Robbins. “But I’m still young [22] so all I can say for myself is YOLO.”