NOT NEWSWORTHY NEWS: 12-year-old Boy Feeds Ducks for First Time


MANHATTAN, NY —Living only a few blocks from Central Park, 12-year-old Glenn Phillips, of 1185 Park Ave, took the initiative to feed the park ducks for his very first time on Monday, Sept. 21.

Phillips couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a duck up close; he says he always keeps a safe distance of at least 50 feet [as recommended by the EPA].

His fear of ducks stems from a dream he had in 2010. “A duck attacked my family and took my father away,” whimpered Phillips as he mentally recalled the horrific scene. “I slept in my parents’ bed every night for three years after that.”

So, what drove Phillips to finally overcome his fear and befriend the local poultry? None other than the famous YouTube video “Baby Ducklings Play On A Slide”. The cute video helped him reconsider the danger that ducks actually pose to humans in the real world.

After thinking long and hard about it, Phillips realized that his fear was possibly absurd and that it was time to buck up and face it.

Phillips pulled himself up by the bootstraps, raided his parents’ pantry, and headed over to the park. He brought a duffle bag full of fresh Italian bread, leftover vegetable fried rice from Asian Palace, Quaker Apple Cinnamon Rice Cakes and a large cheese pizza from Dominos that he bought with his own allowance.

Park goers passing by watched as Phillips chucked handful after handful of food into the pond and the surrounding grass, drawing nearly forty ducks, twenty squirrels and five spectators.

“Those ducks gained at least three pounds each,” said New York local Jim Barnett, who stopped with his wife and infant to watch the scene unfold.

With the pond area swarming with birds and small beasts, Phillips had finally conquered his phobia.

“It was an okay experience,” said Phillips. “Nothing to write home about.”