Cheers & Jeers 11/02/12

Tyler Sperrazza, Staff Writer

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Hurricanes. Who would have thought after a year of no snow days, we would be blessed with a completely unnecessary day off! due to a tropical storm? I understand that it was a precautionary measure, and that once SU closed we had no choice but to close, but really, it was like we got a day off because of how uniquely beautiful the weather was for October in Syracuse! As many have been quick to point out, however, in the movie 2012, NYC is flooded in October…I don’t typically align my life plans with John Cusak movies…but since this one seems to be coming true, we might want to think about preparing for the end of days. This is Syracuse’s reckoning. everyone, so prepare for an extreme winter!

 

CHEER of the week : to Le Moyne’s Stormtroopers

Finally, LMC has come up with a better group of defenders than our security officers. No offense to the boys and girls in olive green, but your effectiveness – especially with the new alcohol policy – has been severely limited. But, there is hope for the defense of our humble campus from foes of all types, and that hope dwells within a particularly fit-looking group of individuals all garbed in identical gray sweatsuits. I don’t know how they found one another, or how a group of such attractive, muscular people just happens to know each other, but I for one am happy they are here. They slowly began to appear in September, but as the weather cools they seem to be increasing their numbers and gaining confidence in their uniforms. There still doesn’t seem to be one common link between these men and women in gray, except for their pristine sweatsuits with the Le Moyne insignia on the chest. I can’t be the only one who has noticed; walk into the Caf and turn left and you will see them. The only question that remains is why they are here, and what they plan to do. Is there some moment that they are waiting for before they rise up as one and battle McCallum and the Jesuits for Dolphin domination, or are they here to protect us from outside foes? Only time will tell, but for now, just be thankful they seem to be on our side.

 

 JEER of the week to Moldy Walls

We all know that Reilly Hall is a dump. It smells bad, the ceilings leak and the classrooms appear to be straight out of the 1970s. What you may not be aware of is the layer of deadly toxins that are hiding just below the surface of the drab, white walls of Reilly Hall. That’s right, mold. Everywhere. Sure, the walls look nice and white, but that’s just a really great job on the part of Physical Plant to keep us from being aware of the fact that we will die a slow, painful death from mold poisoning … all thanks to the penny pinchers on the Board of Trustees. I’m sure that we could scrape up the funds somewhere to pay for the necessary remediation and removal of the mold, but that might entail a BMW or Lexus payment being missed for some of the board members and their families. So the next time you’re attending class within the mold-infested walls of Reilly Hall, take a look at those black spots and ask yourself if your tuition dollars are being put to good use. At the very least, all those with classes in Reilly should be given respirators, preferably shaped like Bane’s mask. That way, when we inevitably become an angry, anarchical mob – frustrated that our college is endangering the respiratory welfare of its students and faculty – at least we’ll look the part.

Cheers to the Halloween Dance

Holy Dubstep, last Friday was a blast! LSPB and Campus Life pulled out all the stops and were sure to make a night that we would never remember. It was hot, foggy and loud, creating the perfect atmosphere for drunken hookups and morning-after regrets. The typical crowd was there, accompanied by the familiar sights, smells and tastes of a sweaty night at the AC, but there was one thing that was severely lacking at this year’s Halloween dance … drunk people. I was severely disappointed by how few drunks we had, as well as the weak number of ambulance calls. I blame the senior class, of which I am a member, and place a great deal of responsibility on the 2013 graduates. C’mon, seniors … we were the class that got Snowball shut down within forty minutes. As freshmen! We stretched ambulance providers so thin that they ran out of transports. We need to do better, emulating those golden days, and setting a much better example for those that follow us. Rather than sipping beers and pounding a few shots before heading to the AC, we need to start stringing together two or three consecutive power hours in anticipation of the festivities. I expect better from all of us: come December, let’s shoot for a twenty-minute Snowball

Jeer to Lava Plates

No, not literal plates of lava. Rather, plates that feel as if they had just been dipped in lava and are now bearing your delicious Sodexo food from the gloved hand of the chef to your unprotected paw. We’ve all been there, we’ve all got the scald marks to prove it. Sodexo and the dining staff (bless their hearts) keep our plates clean. They keep them very clean; often it seems as if they have been cleaned in the fiery pits of Mordor. Then, these Mordor plates are places under Arizona sun heat lamps before being handled by cooks and then handled by you, the student. Cooks, don’t your hands hurt? These plates are damn hot, and you all handle hundreds of them per day. Perhaps this is why the chefs are seemingly so calm when handling these deadly bits of molten china: they have grown accustomed to the heat. We students have not had the time to adjust to the scalding temperatures, and as such, our mitts are burned every time we grab a plate. Students should work on building up a tolerance and developing some calluses: imagine walking across burning coals, but on your hands, and instead of coals, just use burning copies of last week’s Dolphin … it’s only a matter of time before the administration makes us burn it anyway.