Well, I thought I had written a really neat intro about the difference between sheep and sheep, moose and moose, and deer and deer, but apparently the editorial staff isn’t interested in the incredible versatility of the English language. So instead, I’ll use what is left of my word count to say how much I love The Big Bang Theory, how much I hate Green Day, and how happy I am that the Boston Red Sox are going to miss the playoffs. Don’t ever tell me to rewrite my intro again.
Cheers to: Syracuse Weather
I love cold weather. I know a lot of you out there do too. This summer was great, but when that first blast of rain pours down and saturates your walk from the dorm to your class, you know winter is coming soon. Now, I understand that many of you may not be from around here, and many of the freshmen have not experienced a Syracuse winter yet. Let me assure you, they are everything you could dream about when wishing for snow and cold. Last year notwithstanding, the winters at Le Moyne are full of snowballs, snow forts, snow days and yellow snow cones after Thirsty Thursdays. William Shakespeare summed up Syracuse weather perfectly when he wrote, “Now is the fall rain of our discontent, made glorious winter by the lack of sun in November.” I’m paraphrasing. The point is, when you look out your window every day this month and you groan due to the rain and the lack of sun, just remember the snow that will eventually cover our campus and potentially cancel our classes. Snow is the best thing about Syracuse! It is what makes this city unique; it’s the only thing the city will ever have a chance to break records in, except maybe highway construction. We need to embrace the cold and rain of fall, and prepare to welcome what the Almanac’s are predicting will be one of the best winters in history, and by best I mean worst. Screw the big hill; get those old, pink caf trays ready, we might be able to sled off the roof of the Jes Res this year!
Jeers to: Lot AA (near the A.C.)
I didn’t know that Le Moyne existed in a time-space paradox. Honestly, it’s really cool and I think the physics department could have a lot of fun investigating this phenomenon, but in terms of the daily life of Le Moyne students and faculty, the split in the fabric of time known as Lot AA is a real pain in the ass. Everywhere else on Le Moyne’s campus is accessible within a five to eight minute walk. The farthest corners of campus can be spanned without breaking a sweat. However, when one is forced to park in Lot AA, it’s as if Le Moyne becomes an inaccessible wasteland, and those unlucky individuals need to pack survival gear to get to and from classes. I heard a woman last week say, “I brought my walking shoes today, just in case I have to park in AA.” Really? We can’t build parking lots that allow these women to wear their five inch heels from the car all the way to class? And what’s this I hear about faculty parking in Lot AA? Now, I’m all for equal rights, but isn’t there something wrong in a veteran member of the faculty having a longer walk to their office than college-aged Commuter Joe’s leisurely stroll from Lot C to his class? Now, I know that our college personal have worked long and hard on this parking situation, and they are doing a bang-up job making money on tickets. But I have one more proposal to possibly fix this parking conundrum… an intricate network of underground lots and tunnels with elevators directly into the academic buildings. I know it’s a long shot, but at least we’d be using donor gifts to solve a problem that affects everyone on campus.