The Authenticity of College Friendships
February 23, 2017
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Being at Le Moyne over the last four years has taught me that being a follower will never get you anywhere.
As you get further into your college experience, it’s common to find that you won’t have the same friends you started out with. This may be because you’re looking for lifelong friends in the wrong spaces and/or in the wrong people. In my own search for these friends I’ve continually questioned what it means to be a friend and what it means to be a best friend.
My (re)search has led me to the conclusion that best friends are those who rejoice in your accomplishments as if they were their own. They provide you with unconditional love and support, and never make you question their loyalty.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of cliques out of security and convenience; but so often, that’s where you lose yourself, and by the time you resurface there’s no one else around. My advice: never be too quick to call someone your best friend, because you may not actually know them at all. Like any relationship, you have to go into a friendship with an open mind and let it happen organically. You should never come into college resolute on building friendships just to build them. As long as you’re yourself and don’t force relationships, you’ll find yourself with a lot more genuine friendships and a lot less drama.
If you find yourself hanging out with a group of people you don’t think you would hang out with outside of Le Moyne, then those folks aren’t really for you. So often we make “friends” out of convenience because they live on our floor or play on our sports team or hang out with the same people we hang out with. But if it’s not because of authentic interest in that person, then it really just seems like a waste of time.
So don’t worry when certain people don’t stick around, because it just means they were meant to enter and exit your life for a reason. I say, trust what the universe is telling you. Be yourself and all your friendships will be authentic. When you finally find those few people that you feel confident in calling your “best friends,” cherish them, support them, and hold onto them, because they are the ones who will be a part of your life beyond the Heights.